A New Confidence

I am sitting here tonight with my mom by my side

We have a football game on and peaches on the BBQ for desert

Something about having your mom right next to you to feel at home 

It has been over a month living in Arizona

I would say that it has been a hard transition

And that I am having a hard time in the heat 

Or I am not making any friends or connections

But honestly, thats not true

The last month has been one big adventure

Stepping out into my comfort zone has been my normal lately 

Talking to strangers in the grocery line

Sharing my story with the woman next to me at church

Joining a women's bible study the first day of church 

Going places by myself has become something I am getting used too

A new confidence

A new bravery

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: 

The old has gone, the new is here!

2 Cor. 5:17

This doesn't mean that I don't struggle

I miss my family

I miss the comfort of a roommate 

I miss the financial security of a full time job

In fact, nighttime has become a battle ground for loneliness

I wonder what I am doing down here

I question the purpose of this move

I doubt God could possibly answer my deepest prayers

I question why they haven't been fulfilled yet 

I find myself talking to myself a lot at night

I am either praying or yelling 

I havent figured out what exactly I am doing

 I yell

I cry out in frustration

If my neighbors heard me that would think I am crazy

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:23

Then the morning comes

A new day comes

I pray, read and meditate- the only thing that gets me through a day 

Holding onto His promises and His Word 

Being confident of this, 

that he who began a good work in you will carry

 it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Phil. 1:6

I remember that every single day, we are a work in progress

He promised not just to lead me but fulfill 

He promised not to just lead but provide

He will finish 

God requires our obedience before our understanding -Christine Caine

And I remember clearly

This Arizona journey is an act of obedience

I think back and I am uninterested

I know my future is better

Obedience is scary

 It is unknown

But it is required 

And You whisper, "Look ahead with joy... everything’s going to work out. 

I promise it's all working out for good...Look to Me" 

Isa:65:17, Ps20:6, Ro.8:28, Matt10:38MSG

And You are up ahead! 
"There are far better things ahead -- than any we leave behind." 
The best is never behind us; You save the *best* for up ahead -- You!
and the end will be the *best*... and it will only be the *beginning*. 

- Ann Voskamp 

So it might take some more days, weeks or months before I really understand

But I will continue to trust

Continue to walk in faith 

And continue to be obedient, in hopeful expectation, 

With the understanding I don't have to understand His ways

But I can be hopeful and remember that the best is yet to come 

• Tweet
• Share
• Share
• Pin