In The Waiting...Don't Wait

Let me take you back to when I was in preschool

I remember asking my mom if I could wear a dress to impress a boy I liked

I had a crush on a boy every single grade since then

(just ask my sister!)

When I was younger I would be the only girl invited to all boy parties

I was what people called “boy crazy”
But I did not care

So, at an early age I was familiar with the desire to "be in love" 

I did not know exactly what marriage was at that age, but I knew I wanted it

As I graduated high school and started college, it seemed only natural for me to meet my husband freshman year, get engaged senior year, married after graduation, move back to my home town, buy a house with a white picket fence, have 2.5 kids, a dog and start my carpool duties

So, that did not happen after college
And it didn’t happen at 23, 24, or 25 either

So, you can imagine my frustration when I was 26 years old, most my friends were married, in fact I was in most of the weddings, and I was still totally single

On the outside it looked like I had a good life
Living in the city of Seattle, great job, great friends and family
But inside was empty
I was not fulfilled at all

I was lacking purpose and passions in my life

I was just existing and not living to my full God given potential

Not even close

One evening, I knew I had to confront my life

So, I asked myself “what am I waiting for?”  

I realized that I had put all my dreams on hold while I was “waiting” to get married

I would tell myself I would wait until I was married to do this or do that

"I will wait until I am married to find a home church, move out of the state, or go on a mission trip"

Ethiopia- July 2014 with my mom and four other daughters and mothers 

One evening in October 2011, I drew a line in the sand
I decided to start taking action steps to pursue my dreams

I started getting involved with non-profits, which was a passion of mine

 I started investing in my health goals, which is how I started with AdvoCare

I said NO to the business right away , but when I got my first check of $150 which I used to go to Nashville to run in a half marathonfor St. Jude, which was a dream of mine, I saw AdvoCare as a vehicle to pursue more dreams

I said YES to start my own business with AdvoCare

Within, the first three months I saved up enough to go on a mission trip to Ethiopia, which was another dream of mine

Last spring I felt God calling me to move to Phoenix to pursue some dreams of mine

Because the income I was making with Advocare and my commitment to pursue my dreams, I stepped out in faith, left my job, my friends and all my family in Seattle and moved toPhoenix

My best friend Molly, who I would never have met if I didnt move or pursue AdvoCare
My sister Beth on the right, visiting me in Arizona at my HOME church

So, here I am today, working at a non-profit, which is a passion of mine
I  have a part time business helping others in health and wellness with AdvoCare
I have been to Africa
And moved away from home, and found an amazing home church
 All without being married

My life is not how I imagined it
Not even close
But guess what?
I  am more happy now than I was when I was "just waiting"

So, whatever you are waiting for, whether it is to get engaged or married, to buy a house, to fall in love, to start your own business, for an addiction to be broken, whatever it may be
 I want to encourage you that there is a whole life to still be lived while in the waiting

There are dreams to be fulfilled in the waiting

There are adventures to be had in the waiting

There is love to be found in the waiting

There are goals to accomplish in the waiting

There is growth and transformation in the waiting

There is joy and Grace in the waiting

Some of my best friends I met at City of Grace- My HOME church 

So, here I am at 30, and still not married, the desire still strong, yes, and if you would have told me when I was 18, that this would be my life at 30, I would have never believed you or would have punched you in the face for speaking that over my life (just kidding...maybe) 

But now, I have a completely different approach on my life while in the waiting

You will never see me on the sidelines of life

I will always be running full speed in the race that God has laid out just for me

Yes, I fail and stumble sometimes

I make mistakes and I offend people

But I am not waiting anymore to chase my dreams, pursue my passion, or take adventures

I know that some dreams are meant to be lived now and I know that when I get married we will create new dreams, new adventures, and new experiences together

I want to encourage you, while you are in the waiting...do not wait

Something amazing happens when you choose to have a decided heart and start pursuing those passions that stir up your soul and sets it on fire 

Doors start to open for you, people come in your life that bring purpose, opportunities come up you never imagined, and you will start to see that there is a beautiful and thrilling life that needs to be lived in the waiting

“Never allow waiting to become a habit. 

Live your dreams. Take risks. Life is happening now.”

Read more »

Living an answered prayer

I am sitting here at the gate ready to board my flight home

My heart is overflowing with joy 

As much as I found a home in Arizona, my heart longs to be home for the holidays

And as I sit here in Arizona, I realize this very experience is an answered prayer

The past couple years I felt a change in my heart

A small sense of longing to "go home" for the holidays

And not just an hour drive from Seattle 

Something deep inside me wanted to have that moment of "going home" 

I see now that God has been preparing me for THIS very holiday season

Finally, the season of "going home"

I sit here watching the sunrise over Phoenix at 7:30am

In just 3 hours I will be in the cold Seattle rain 

I will be home

My sister is picking me up with nephew Jace

My dad already has planned for us to tag our Christmas tree 

But not without stopping at Starbucks on our way

I will be home for a month

Come january I will be heading toward Arizona again

Down to my new home

Another transition for me

I already know that next holiday season will not be like this one

I will probably have to chose between coming home for Thanksgiving or Christmas

Christmas will always win

It is apparent The Lord is in the business of change
Not for the better or for the worse

Just changing my life for His adventure  

Someday I will have my own house to decorate

My own tree to tag and cut down 

My own traditions to start 

Things I so desire

 My heart is longing for the unordinary, the radical, the uncomfortable life

My sense of adventure is high

I don't want a normal life compared to the society

I also desire to get married one day
I want to encourage and support my husband in his radical, 

unordinary, uncomfortable and adventurous life & big dreams 

I know the risks for these dreams are being away from family, even during the holidays

But living the unordinary journey of faith and having an adventurous Godly marriage is a risk I am willing to take

But right now my heart will fully enjoy being home for the holidays and all its nostalgic and joyful memories

All roads lead home for the holidays

Read more »

Marriage and Mission

Since I have been on this blog journey of my own 
I have been fascinated by reading other blogs as well

I have my few favorites I like to read daily

I don't personally know any of them

but that is ok because in a weird, round about way I feel we are friends

They encourage me

They inspire me

They continue to give me hope for my future
They encourage me to deepen my faith
They inspire me to love deeper

And sounds like a good friend to me

For example, below is a post from a women about marriage

She and her husband are Christians who desire to serve Christ

Who love Christ with all they have

This post from Katie is exactly the kind of marriage I desire of my own someday

Read below and get inspired 

---------------

i preface this small and humble observation by merely pointing out i am no expert. 

that is, i've only been married one year to be exact. 

but in this one marvelous turn of the world,

where 365 moons have passed,

and we have only begun to learn the depths of care for each other,

a lovely truth has truly emerged so striking and so profound that I cannot deny it. 

ahh yes, and this is it:

we are better together, than apart. 

not just in the earthly sense which fills my most physical needs 

but in the most beautiful divine. 

when Kev and I began to talk about marriage, I began to wonder what the point of marriage was.  It wasn't because I had bad examples, far from that. Both sets of our parents have been married over 30 years and are unmistakably in love.

it was a deep sense of wondering how I could ever love God and people, more, being married.  

and then I got married and discovered that God's plan for marriage is just that. 

to work together as a team to radiate Christ's deep agape in a fuller expression. 

and herein lies the point of this small post. 

i so believe marriage is about mission. 

it's about being called by God as a team

to have a purpose higher than yourselves

to laugh and love and cry and journey with meaning

it's about fulfilling the great commission with your heavenly Love and your earthly dearest

and when we serve the Lord in tandem

and i watch kevin pick up a small child and swing him around

and read him stories

and pray with him

I am ever more in love with that radiant soul

because I am watching our Savior seep out of him

and that is glue. 

that binds. 

when we crawl out of our world

and together reach into the epic calling of Abba

is when we find life

and life together. 

henri nouwen says, 

"...marriage is foremost a vocation. Two people are called together to fulfill a mission that God has given them. Marriage is a spiritual reality. That is to say, a man and a woman come together for life, not just because they experience deep love for each other, but because they believe that God loves each of them with an infinite love and has called them to each other to be living witnesses of that love. To love is to embody God's infinite love in a faithful communion with another human being.”

to say that we've attainted this fully would be foolish.

no, no, we struggle on. 

but last night as we both shared how we desire this next year of our marriage to look,

we knew it was to be centered around mission. 

that all who encounter us would be covered in a higher, deeper, richer heavenly love. 

because marriage isn't just about pleasing our earthly selves,

it is about serving a divine King and living out His calling on our lives

together. 

and boy is it one great adventure. 

love Katie 

Her Blog "Hope Engaged" 

Read more »

Dream BIG my Darling

I found this gem on Pinterest

I feel like it should read this...

"Jessie, don't you remember I am a God who can do more in a second than you can ever imagine? Dream big, my darling. I will give you the desires of your heart all you have to do is keep pursuing Me and dream big. Let Me rock your world."

Dream I will...

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."

Ephesians 3:20

"Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4

Read more »

HOLD ON God knows what He is doing

It has taken me a  LONG time to realize the importance of praying for my future husband. Don’t get me wrong, I have thought about my future husband and my fairy tale realistic wedding I am going to have. I thought how he is going to come out just like in the movies and sweep me off my feet. Prince charming, I think they call him. I would pray that he would be romantic, tall dark and handsome and we would live happily ever after.  Realistic right?

After a failed relationship in college, dating here and there, and giving my heart away to easily instead of trusting God, I decided that I needed to learn more on what biblical marriage and what a godly husband consist of.  

It has been one of the most eye opening, joyful, and hopeful learning experiences. The roles of a husband and wife that God created are so important in a marriage. Each one so different and powerful for a successful marriage…Different roles, but equal under God.  

Men have a BIG job as the spiritual leaders of our home and family. They have a lot of responsibility as the protector, provider, and watchmen. They NEED our love, respect, affirmation, affection, and our PRAYERS.

I still long for that happily ever after, however, my prayers for my future marriage have changed. I now pray not only for my future husband (see below) but also that I am becoming the wife that he needs me to be.

A wife who shows grace, kindness and respect.

A wife who does him good, not harm, all the days of my life.

A wife who speaks faithfully and wisely.

 A wife who will be the ultimate encourager and helper in life.

I found this list of ways to pray for your future husband about a year ago and I have prayed for him every single day.

Dear God,

I pray that You are blessing future husband.

I pray that my future husband is growing in his relationship with You every day. He is in the Word. He is surrounded by encouraging people and family and that His love for you grows daily.

I pray that my future husband will be the spiritual leader of our family. That he will guide us, lead us, and protect us. That he will take on that role with passion and love and be the man that you have called him to be.

I pray that my future husband will love me. Love me passionately, deeply, and intensely. He will respect and accept me and my family. I will be his first human priority through life.

I pray that my future husband will have a heart, not just our children, but all children. That he will have a big heart, compassionate and caring.

I pray that my future husband is making wise decisions. That he is one his knees praying for Your guidance with his decisions.

I pray that my future husband is physically, mentally, emotionally healthy. I pray that any anxiety or worry he may have that he lifts it all to You. I pray that you are keeping him safe and healthy for our marriage and life together.

I pray that my future husband is prospering at work. I pray that he is passionate, driven, and hardworking but more importantly I pray that he is a man of integrity and character. That people see him as a man of faith and encouragement.

I pray that my future husband can resist sexual temptation. Lord, take him away from anything or anyone that might make him fall. Help him to stay pure for You and me.

I pray that I will be a wife who shows grace, kindness and respect.

Lastly, I pray that the Lord will bless our marriage, and expand our territory as a couple, that we will do great things as a couple and are an example of a godly marriage to many! This one always gets me excited. I love the thought of going on adventures and doing great things for Christ with my future husband. When I say adventures I dont mean vacations (however, I am hoping for many of those too!) but adventures that expand our territory and give us opportunities to do great things for Him, to serve and give back as a couple.


--------------------------------------------

I don’t know who he is or when he will come but there is something humbling and intimate about praying for my future husband. I can’t help but be hopefully and excited knowing God will provide a godly husband for me when the timing is right.

Until then, it is also important to pray that I stay joyful and content, constantly growing in Him and who I am,  during this season of my life.

The sole purpose of marriage is to honor God. I have learned that His timing is perfect and I know that when He feels that I will better worship Him with another man, that is when He will bring him in my life.

Read more »

Desires

Thoughts this morning...

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Psalm 37:4

Love, God

And just because I am in LOVE with the city I live.

Seattle life is beautiful

Read more »

"Going to the chapel..."

This past weekend on August 11th one of my dearest friends got married! I was honored to be a bridesmaid in one of the most awesome weddings ever.

I have known Mallorys for about ten years. She is part of our bible study group that formed through NBC and with Amy Looker as our leader. She graduated from Western and then then started working in Seattle. We grow close the past year as she lived by me in Greenlake. We play in a volleyball league together, run (and walk!) greenlake often and of course talk weddings, life  and everything in between. She is a wonderful part of my life I was honored to be in her wedding and standing next to her on her special day.






Close up! After a volleyball league game in the winter







Superbowl flag football!





Bridesmaids- Jamie and I

Gotta get beautified!

Starting the morning off right!










It seems like yesterday when we talked about her "vision" of a barn, country vintage chic wedding.
These pictures do not do it justice! The wedding was beautiful. What did women do before Pinterest!?



^"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." 

 

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Bret and Mallory are a great couple. Truly perfect for eachother. They bring out the strengths and the best in each other. They like to have fun, enjoy the outdoors, and best of all they are not afraid to live life to the fullest! I wish them a lifetime of happiness, love, joy and adventures as they start their new life as husband and wife!

 

Read more »