in the waiting

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Family That Plays Together...Stays Together

"But as for me and my household,

we will serve the LORD."

Joshua 24:15

Before I left to Arizona we had a small get together with our family

There was nothing I wanted to do more before I left then spend sometime with family

Of course most these pictures are of Jace and Hudson- my most adorable nephews

ok mostly Jace but Hudson was sleeping half the time

What can I say, I am a proud auntie!

Baby Hudson and my brother in law Kevin

Oh hey blue eyes!

Ohhh that red little face gets me every time!

I made this sign last year for my place but I could not take it to Arizona so my mom put it outside by the garden

Selfie with my little buddy

Cant handle this cuteness!

Gramps and cousin- My grandpa said if he was younger he would come live with me. So sweet!

Jace, Sister Beth, aunte Jan, cousin Rylee

My brother Chris keepin' it simple

sister selfie with Hudson just chillin'

Brother Chris, Jace- yes he is picking his nose, sister Beth, me, brother-in-law Kevin, and baby Hudson

My family is one of my biggest blessings

Relearning to Trust

It has been over a week I have called Arizona my home

One week since I moved out of my place of comfort

One week since I said goodbye to my family

One week since we drove 22 hours to my new home

"See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert..."

Isaiah 43:19

The past couple days I have experienced weather I have never seen

Lightening storms that take up the whole sky

Thunder that shakes the house

Sandstorms that blow over an entire city

I sit outside in 100 degree weather and I don't want to rush inside

I want to feel the heat

I want to hear the gentle winds blowing and see clouds darkening

A storm must be coming in

Surprisingly, I feel at home

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go,

I will counsel you and watch over you.

Psalm 33:8

Why am I so "surprised" that I feel at home?

I knew this move was coming

I knew it was coming a year ago, I just didn't know where

The Lord prepared me for this change

He took the year to teach me, mold me, transform me and my heart for this

He has provided a heart that is at peace regardless of not having a job

He has provided a heart that is calm regardless of not knowing where I will live

He has provided a heart that finds beauty in the heat, the desert and hills

He has provided a heart that is brave to seek out new friends

He has provided a confidence to attend a new church by myself s

He has provided

The Lord has provided many doors for me down here

However, the most challenging part right now is relearning to trust Him

See, my life was easy in Seattle

I had my friends close

I had my family closer

I had a steady job

I knew where I would be living

Right now, I have none of that

I have no other choice but to TRUST Him

Trust Him when the future looks unknown

Trust Him to provide... even the smallest details

Trust Him He will keep His promises

My Grace is sufficient for you - 2 Cor. 12:9

God is faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear- 1 Cor. 10:13

He gives VICTORY- 1 Cor. 10:57

He works everything for the good for those who love Him- Romans 8:28

The peace which transcends all understanding- Phil. 4:7

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give the desires of your heart- Psalm 37:4

The Lord has reminded me that my perspective on this new chapter needs to be bigger and broader

I am not down here to create a new comfortable and convenient life

I am here because the Lord has a plan for me here

He has placed dreams and visions in me that seem overwhelming and terrifying

But I will keep moving forward because trusting Him is all I can do

I will keep moving forward because I know when we go through a storm, being uncomfortable, a change or tough situation, we are met with divine purpose at the end

I am trusting Him that this small act of obedience will open up big doors to my divine purpose

If you are faithful in little things,

you will be faithful in large ones

Luke 16:10

So, how am I doing?

Really well

I am finding my own life down here in the desert

I am finding beauty in the heat, desert, mountains and hills

I found a gym I love and already have a few workout pals

I have loved driving and discovering new places around Phoenix
I am meeting up with new connections and friends

I have found a church I love to worship at and hope to get involved

It only has been a week but feels like more

I don't know how I will feel in a month or a year

But I do know, when I start to get lonely, I will trust Him

When I start to feel homesick, I will trust Him

When I start to feel lost, I will trust Him

"See, I am doing a new thing!"

Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyles,
seek to know Me in greater depth and breadth

I long to make your life a glorious adventure,
I am always doing something new within My beloved ones

Be on the lookout for all that I have prepared for you

- Jesus Calling

This post has taken me awhile to write

I got back from Africa over a week ago... jet lag got the best of me

I am now trying to process what is next for me

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I started this blog July 2012, after about 6 months of thinking about it

I knew the Lord was starting a great story for my life

I knew great adventure was on its way

I wanted to make sure I documented what The Lord was doing in my life

I wanted to make sure I was "Enjoying the Journey"

Though I didn't move anywhere or go on a grand vacation, I had quite the adventure

The past three years The Lord opened a whole new way of viewing life

I saw life through the lens of the Word and not the world

I started dreaming about a life I never imagined before

I finally realized that our life is a platform to glorify Him

Impact others for His Glory- build His kingdom

Most the time I didnt know what I was doing or getting myself into

The Lord showed His Grace anyway

The Lord blessed me anyway

It is now July 2014, two years since I started blogging

The Lord has turned my life upside down

However, better than I ever imagined

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more

than all we ask or imagine,

according to his power that is at work within us,"

Ephesians 3:20

Throughout the past couple years I knew He was preparing me for a big change

I knew I was going somewhere, I just didn't know where

This year, however, brought the most change

First, the Lord asked me to leave my comfortable job I loved at Seattle Pacific after six years

Are you sure Lord? Ok, I will

Then He reminded me that I am going to Ethiopia in June

Africa? Are you sure? Ok, I would love too.

Jessie, I want you to move to Phoenix

Wait, what?!

Phoenix, Arizona

You mean the city that is hot ALL THE TIME?

Phoenix, Arizona

A city I have NEVER been too?

Phoenix, Arizona

The city that doesn't have the seasons fall or winter?

Phoenix, Arizona

The same Arizona Cardinals in same conference as Seattle Seahawks?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understandings,

but in ALL ways acknowledge Him

and He will set your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

OK, Lord, I will move to Phoenix, Arizona.

The Lord has made it very clear that this is my next move

The next place along my journey in my life

I don't know exactly what I am doing when I get there but I am ok with that

Since I made the decision He has already opened doors

He has placed a great excitement and peace within me

I believe He has been preparing my heart for this move for awhile

My life is not going as I planned but exactly how it is supposed too

I know that God has turned my world upside down

I know He has called me out of my place of comfort and into the unknown

I know God is directing me on a new path

I will miss my family

I will miss my two adorable, amazing nephews

I will miss the Seattle rain and especially the fall season

I will miss my boots, big sweaters and scarves

I will miss the comfort of having family within a drive distance

I will miss knowing my way around a city

I will miss my comfort

But

Walking in Gods Will brings joy & peace

Walking in Gods Will brings bigger blessings & beauty

Walking in Gods Will is a great adventure worth taking

I am moving to Arizona because the fear of staying in my comfort zone is greater than the fear of the unknown

Unknown to me but known to Him

"See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert..."

Isaiah 43:19

Enumclaw>Seattle>Ethiopia>Phoenix>?

Lord, I Need You

"Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord;

let us shout aloud to salvation.

Let us come before Him with Thanksgiving

and extol Him with music and song."

Psalm 95:1-2

As we drove to dinner tonight, we decided to do something different

Usually we would chat about our day or so exhausted we wouldn't chat at all

But tonight we played worship music

I sat there listening to one of my favorites

"Lord, I Need You" by Matt Maher, my heart filled with joy

There is something about music that really gets me into worship

We haven't played worship music all week and my soul was longing for it

As we all started to sing, I could tell we needed this

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As I stared out the window into a world of dark brokenness

Lord, I need you

As I saw the hundreds of people on the street who feel hopeless

Lord, I need you

As I thought about all the children who were without homes, parents or love and the parents who gave up their children just to survive

Lord, I need you

As I thought about the people who came right up to our windows while we were driving in hopes of food

Lord, I need you

As I thought about those who were crippled, burned or beaten so badly wandering the streets

Lord, I need you

As I thought about the missionary couples who packed up their whole lives and children, took a leap of faith and built an organization here in Ethiopia

Lord, I need you

As I thought about how overwhelmingly broken, unjust, and corrupt our world is

Lord, I need you

I was exposed to a whole new level of brokenness this week

Every part of me was wrecked

And just when I thought He was done, I saw something that wrecked me again

Lord I Need You

When I get back home I am not going to know how to process this

I am not going to understand why we live the way we do while others struggle

Lord, I need you

I will be going home to my place of comfort, my place with warm running water, electricity, a roof over my head and always food on my plate, while others struggle not only half way around the world but in my own city

Lord, I need you

I will be going home to share my experiences with my family and friends
How do I share in a way that accurately explains my feelings and emotions?

Lord, I need you

No one can take away what I saw this week
No one can take away the images of poverty or the hope I saw that the ministries gave
How do I balance my life in the midst of all that I have been given?
How do I live a life that glorifies Him?
What do I do now?
Lord, I need You

God wants us, not only to be healthy and whole, but He wants to use us to help other people be healthy and whole

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Lord, You have opened my eyes to a whole, big world

A world of brokenness but also so much beauty

You have shown me that you can use anyone, anywhere for Your Glory

It is not where we live by how we live

As I head back to the comforts of home, help me not get so comfortable I miss the brokenness
Continue to break my heart for what breaks Yours
Continue to push me into the uncomfortable because I have learned that is where Your true beauty and blessings will be shown
Continue to open my eyes to your beauty
Now that I have seen more injustice and brokenness, help me to understand Your plan

You are not a God of confusion, but of clarity

Help me to live with complete surrender to Your plan for me

Amen

Lord, I need You
By Matt Maher

Wherever you are...Make Your Mark

"All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor,

the very thing I had been eager to do all along."

Galatians 2:10

It is almost midnight here is Ethiopia

We just got back from a true Ethiopian dinner- with dancers and all!

It was a long, exhausting day so it was nice to sit down

We ate, we chatted, we made new friends

I still cant comprehend that I am in Ethiopia, Africa

But then we leave to go to another organization and I remember

I am around children who have been abandoned

Children sold into labor because parents cant afford them

Children who dont know who their parents are

Children who dont know where they will sleep that night

Children who have no shoes, holes in their shirt, dirt on their faces
Children who dont know Jesus' love
Children who dont know any love

Children who are hungry and HIV positive

I knew my heart was going to break

And it did, it does and will continue

However, I was not prepared for the overwhelming brokenness

I see poverty worse than I ever imagined

The streets filled with mud, people, animals and trash

No movie, no story could ever prepare me for this

This was a breaking of the heart I was not expecting

Today we went to an organization called Make Your Mark

MYM provides education, food and encouragement in an extremely poor areas in Ethiopia
A story of an American couple who take care of young boys off the street

They started in America and were later called to start MYM in Ethiopia

Today we painted and played card games with the boys - then Trent and Carmen shared their testimony
I sat there in tears as they shared a story of God's salvation, Grace and Forgiveness
They way that God changed their lives and is now using them to change lives in Africa was inspiring

I look back at what God has done in my heart to get me here and it amazes me
But my love, my belief and my faith increased as I listened to their story and how God moved

The best thing about Make Your Mark is everything they do points to Jesus
They share about His love, His grace, His forgiveness and redemption everyday
That no amount of addiction can fill their voids or fear
I heard these boy's stories- Horrible stories on the street
Is this really happening in the world?
But after a couple months of being around shown protection, grace, forgiveness and love

After a couple months of being in Make Your Mark
These boys start to believe the Truth
That no amount of darkness can chase away The Light
They still may be poor to our world's standards
But they are joyful
They are being restored
They are feeling love, peace and grace
They know Jesus is the only way, truth and life
Only God

God used Trent and Carmen's story not just to show me how BIG He is,
but the fact that God can use anyone, anywhere for His Glory
Carmen and Trent were called to Ethiopia to serve and impact lives
They knew that God had a specific plan for them in Africa

Not everyone is called to serve in Africa
Not everyone is called to start a non-profit
BUT

Everyone is called to serve, love and make an impact

Everyone is called to point others to Jesus- in the way we live, talk and act

Everyone is created for a specific purpose for His glory
And we are all called to obey when He calls like Carmen and Trent