Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The New Has Come

The night before Jackie's wedding 2009

This past weekend I went down to Portland for the weekend to visit one of my best friends
We were teammates and roommates in college 
We always had a great time
For better or worse

Jackie and I summer 2008

This past weekend we did what girls do best
Lots of shopping, walks, talks, and Starbucks 
We talked about our jobs, family, old friends and caught up

However, as we reminisced about our past, our conversations went something like this:
"Remember when we did_____? I cant believe that happened"
"Remember you and _____? Oh man that was an emotional roller coaster"
"The old Jessie would not think twice about that!" 

........But this time those stories felt different
Instead of the normal laughter from me, I felt shame
Painful, gut wrenching shame
I didn't want to laugh anymore 
I wanted to run far away

Can you hide from God?

Of course, we shared some great stories
We do have many amazing memories
But I couldn't stop thinking about the "other" memories
The "not so good" stories where I was supposed to just laugh at
Shrug my shoulders and say
 "that was just college"

Are those the stories I left people with?
What was I doing?
Why did I do that?
Why didn't I let him go sooner?
Why did I act that way?
  I was not honoring God in the way I lived my life and that left me with guilt 

I spend the entire car ride home asking myself,
Who was I back then?

Sarah, Lisa and myself in Cali 2009
The car ride home ended up being extra long
4.5 hours from Portland is NOT OK!
But, God knew I needed some more time to reflect


"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come; 
the old has gone, the new is here."
2 Corinthians 5:17 

See, the "old Jessie" was not living a life that glorifies the Lord
I wasn't pursuing Christ
I was not putting Him first

But you know what is so amazing?

I don't have to be tied to the "old Jessie" any longer
The old has gone

I am a new creation
He has forgiven
He has redeemed
I am anew
In Christ

And that brings me total freedom

In Christ. 
United with Christ through faith in Him and commitment to Him 

New Creation. 
Redemption is the restoration and fulfillment of Gods purposes in creation 
and this takes place in christ, through whom all things were made
 and in whom all things are restored or created anew


Oldies but Goodies

Europe adventure 2009
Pool time with roommates and teammates 2005

SPU Falcons 2005-2006 

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