in the waiting: October 2012

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!

I am not much of a Halloween person, but I do enjoy holidays and the holiday spirit of each individual holiday. It is hard not to jump straight to ~~Christmas~~ Thanksgiving. But today I WILL relish the scary, spooky spirits of Halloween!

So tonight I think I will make some pumpkin soup for dinner, green salad with pumkpin seeds, as the pumpkin spice candle burns, while my new favorite dessert (see below) bakes in the oven. Considering the lack of baking skills I have, does it count if I put on an aporn for a baker costume?

How is that for Halloween spirit? :)

Mini pumpkin pies! After a lot of searching on blogs and recipe websites, I came up with the perfect little treat!
1/2 C fat-free cream cheese
1/2 C egg whites
1/2 C pumpkin puree
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
2 pre-rolled pie crust
Makes 24 mini pies!

(Christmas music may or may not be playing on my Pandora station)

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However, it is Halloween and I do like my play on words here.

During this season of carving pumpkins, I am reminded to ask myself "am I carving enough time out for God?" I will admit that latley my quiet times have not been as productive as I want them to be. It could be because I am in between devotions right now and for me having that guidance is really important for me or the fact I am allowing myself a little extra sleep because I have been putting in long hours at work. Excuses? Yes they are.

I have been reminded lately the importance of carving out that time for Him. In our fast-paced society we rarely get to sit in a quiet place. Televisions (ESPN lately) blare. Computers sound out webcasts, Pandora, Spotify, itunes crank out music at times when we could be seeking solace.

Our emotional lives are much the same. When we do not allow time to rest and regroup from the stresses of life, we allow cracks in our spirit that make us emotionally and spiritually fragile. We keep going at rapid speeds, rarely slowing down long enough to be refreshed and live in the Peace that Gods wants for us.

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'"

Mark 6:31

This highlights the fact that even Jesus Himself found it important to get away for a while; to slow down and cease activity. He urged His disciples to get to a quiet place. In doing so they would find rest. Being alone and quiet would help keep them whole.

So, as the hussle and bussle of the holiday season begins (tomorrow!), and as I get busier with work, athletic events, holiday family/friend get togethers, Pinterest project attempts, baking attempts, I am reminded to take the time to sit in a quiet place and seek Gods peace.

Whether it is in the mornings, at work, during lunch, or before bed, I need to carve out that time to fully relax, refresh and slow down.

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With that, here is a preview of what I plan on blogging about all next month :)

Happy Birthday DAD!

My dad is 60 today.

My dad is my hero.

My dad has taught me the importance of living a life of Character and Integrity.

My dad has taught me the importance of being Hardworking and Passionate in life.

My dad is also the most Humble man I have ever met. He doesn’t want praise or recognition.

My dad has taught me the importance of going above and beyond what is expected of yourself.

My dad is Faithful. He is devoted to my mom, his children and most of all Jesus Christ.

My dad has taught me the importance of being Honest and Kind. My dad always treats people with respect.

My dad has taught me the importance Patience. With four children there is always something in life my dad could be frustrated with, yet he finds a way to lovingly teach us in those moments and handle those problems with Forgiveness and Grace.

My dad has always been my encourager, my inspiration to excel at whatever life brings me.

My dad is someone I can ALWAYS count on. Car troubles, money and life decisions, he will be there. He is Reliable and Responsible.

My dad is Selfless. He puts his wife and children above his own needs.

My dad is Loving.

My dad has shown me what a true man of faith looks like. I don’t have to look far for the best

example a daughter could have for a future husband and father.

My dad is my hero.

Being Fully Present

I dont know why I feel guilty when I dont post for awhile. For petes sake, I am the only one who reads this! I dont like the feeling of letting moments, thoughts, or inspirations pass me by!

Though that is the whole point of this blog, to document moments of every season of my life, sometimes I get "too caught up" in documenting that I forget to just be present. Be still and enjoy this season, this moment.

Ten years from now I am not going to remember that I didnt document the Daily Devotional I received on Oct. 24th. Ten years from now I want to remember that I LIVED each day in the present.

I fully LIVED for Christ each day and deepened my walk with Him.

So, though I did read a good devotional this morning, I would rather document today about what I am loving, what is inspiring me and Halloween!

LOVING

Obviously loving the cutest nephew in the world! My sister is the best sending me pictures daily of him with cute captians. I had a little venting sesh with my sister yesterday. She then sent me this picture back saying "#iwillmakeitbetter." Yes, you wil Jace and yes with the hastag. She just started using hashtags, which are so pointless yet fun to use #outofcontrol

I am loving my fall porch! This year I opted out for using corn stalks. They are kinda messy. Plus, it was too much fun having Jace with us this year that I totally ~~forgot~~ didnt even notice them.

INSPIRING

God has called us to a life of adventure and I have been thinking a lot about what “adventure” really means. Traveling to another country? Leaving SPU? St. Jude opportunities? Meeting new people? Sometimes when I think adventures I automatically think fun, travel, easy because it would be something that called calls us too right?! Well, I was humbly reminded by a co-worker that adventures are not always going to be easy and costly at times. I need to remember that and to keep in mind that they all won’t be easy decisions and smooth paths. But it is hopeful to know that eventually they all “work for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose” I just got to keep trusting in Him and pray He us directing me to fulfill His purpose for my life daily.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28

This was a quote that I got from my UTD experience in Memphis. There was a speaker who passed out many quotes that all started with "Be the person who.." We had to keep one that we wanted best represented our life. Living a life of discipline, purpose, and service to others sounds beautiful.

My granpda inspires me! His first grandson!

HALLOWEEN

Halloween is in exactly one week! I usually dont go all out for this holiday but I do appreciate it. My best friend Sarah and I have been planning a couples Halloween party once we both are married :)

Confession- I got weak the other day and listened to Mariah Carey holiday CD one day (maybe two) last week! Say what!? Yes, it was a rainy day, cold and I caved! I texted my brother what I did and he ~~lectured~~ told me to stop listening and to enjoy the halloween holiday! Enjoy the fall leaves, the scary/spooky decor and all the fun things halloween brings.

He is SO right. Thanks bud for always helping me to stay in the moment. Love you!

Daily Hope: Be Enthusiastic About Your Work

By Rick Warren

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.”

Ecclesiastes 9:10

If you want your work to be blessed by God, the first thing you must do is start working enthusiastically.

Enthusiasm is not based on how fun your job is or how much it pays; it’s based on why you do what you do. In fact, the word "enthusiasm" comes from the Greek words “en theos,” which means “in God.”

If you want to be enthusiastic about your work, remember these three things:

Your work is a test from God. “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much … If you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own?” (Luke 16:10-12 NIV)

God is watching what you do, even when no one else is. “Work hard so God can say to you, ‘Well done.’ Be a good workman, one who does not need to be ashamed when God examines your work” (2 Timothy 2:15 LB).

Your attitude determines your joy. “The diligent find freedom in their work; the lazy are oppressed by work” (Proverbs 12:24 MSG).

You can’t succeed in life until you change your attitude about the work you are doing right now. Romans 12:11 says, “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically” (NLT).

Not What I had in Mind..Oh well!

Just one of those days.

I just finished my devotional on Esther this morning. I was so excited to write about all the thoughts and what I learned about her beauty and strength! (which is amazing and incredible!) But I just couldnt do it. The moment I got into work this morning it seemed I couldnt even seem to put together a complete sentence. In my mind I did but I couldnt translate my thoughts into words. UGH.

I am exhasuted.

I am tired.

I am unmotivated.

My body aches.

So, knowing I needed to snap out of this funk, I decided to take a walk around campus.

I am sure glad I did.

Nothing like seeing the beauty of the season to remind me how amazing our Creator truly is.

Seriously! How beautiful is our campus?

I have been at SPU, as a student and now employee, for 8 years and I still am in AWE during the fall.

Now for some random thoughts for this random post...

Tonight is Thursday Night Football!

Seattle Seahawks vs. San Fran.49ers.

Sarah Kilmer is having some friends over to enjoy the game. Nothing like fellowsip, food and football!

This season I have been really into the NFL and the Seahawks. It has been fun watching and rooting for our home team!

I am actually going to the Seahawks game with my aunt Nov. 11th when they play the New York Jets!

This always helps when those dang funks happen :)

I am SO passionate about this charity.
I am thankful for the amazing executive board that God has brought together.
I am thankful for the platform that God gave me to make a difference in these students and the children.
I am thankful for the leadership of my two executive directors.
I am thankful for the St. Jude reps and the relationships we are creating.
I am thankful to have this opportunity to follow my passion with making a difference in childrens lives.
I am thankful for God "expanding my territory".

I am thankful for Gods promise.

When the road before you looks rocky, you can trust Him to get you through the rough patch. His presence enables you to face each day with confidence.

I will have mornings where I am unmotivated. I am tired and have no energy. Those are the moments when I focus on the blocked path before me and go off course.

I need to direct my focus back to Him, the one who is leading me along this life-journey.

"The path of the righteous is level;
you, the Upright One, make the way of the righteous smooth."

Isaiah 26:7

Nothing like being brought back into the presence of the Lord when I am wondering off course throughout the day.

So, though this isnt the blog I had in mind this morning, I think it is exactly the blog I needed to write about. This is exactly why I started this blog. I needed a place to go to write out my feelings and not feel pressured to write a sermon everytime.

It was just one of those mornings...Sorry Esther, to be continued...:)

Becoming a Woman of Prayer

It all started when my best friend told me about the bible study book, “Becoming Woman of Prayer.” It has been a year since I committed myself to becoming a woman of prayer. I committed to praying on my knees before bed every night, I committed to praying every morning before my devotions. A year later (this month!)and I can say that prayer is a constant presence in my life. And of course, prayer is not something that should only happen in the mornings and night. It is important that I am constant communication with Him. I am constantly striving to pursue Him, talk with Him and stay connected to Him and His presence. Now, is this easy for me? Sometimes it is and sometimes I struggle to find Him (even though I know He is there) . If you need to be reminded of one of my hard days refer back to my “When Bad Days Happen” post. Oh ya, major pity party remember?

However, like God promised, when we search for him we will find Him.

”You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:13.

Knowing I needed ~~some~~ much help in the prayer department, (Also, see this post) that is what I did. It has been a year of praying, growing, searching, seeking, and discovering to develop a better relationship with God. Is it perfect? Absolutely not. But God has grabbed my heart, met me halfway, and shown me grace. He has reassured me that He is the only one who can fill my life with purpose. I am constantly growing in my relationship with Him and one of the biggest ways I am achieving that is by prayer. My prayer life is now not just something I feel obligated to do (yes, I used to feel this way!) I find myself longing for the evenings when I can kneel and pray and be in the presence of God. I long for that comfort and peace I receive when I humbly bow before Him. Prayer has become a necessity in my life, a habit I do to strengthen and humble myself before the Lord.

HOLD ON God knows what He is doing

It has taken me a LONG time to realize the importance of praying for my future husband. Don’t get me wrong, I have thought about my future husband and my fairy tale ~~realistic~~ wedding I am going to have. I thought how he is going to come out just like in the movies and sweep me off my feet. Prince charming, I think they call him. I would pray that he would be romantic, tall dark and handsome and we would live happily ever after. Realistic right?

After a failed relationship in college, dating here and there, and giving my heart away to easily instead of trusting God, I decided that I needed to learn more on what biblical marriage and what a godly husband consist of.

It has been one of the most eye opening, joyful, and hopeful learning experiences. The roles of a husband and wife that God created are so important in a marriage. Each one so different and powerful for a successful marriage…Different roles, but equal under God.

Men have a BIG job as the spiritual leaders of our home and family. They have a lot of responsibility as the protector, provider, and watchmen. They NEED our love, respect, affirmation, affection, and our PRAYERS.

I still long for that happily ever after, however, my prayers for my future marriage have changed. I now pray not only for my future husband (see below) but also that I am becoming the wife that he needs me to be.

A wife who shows grace, kindness and respect.

A wife who does him good, not harm, all the days of my life.

A wife who speaks faithfully and wisely.

A wife who will be the ultimate encourager and helper in life.

I found this list of ways to pray for your future husband about a year ago and I have prayed for him every single day.

Dear God,

I pray that You are blessing future husband.

I pray that my future husband is growing in his relationship with You every day. He is in the Word. He is surrounded by encouraging people and family and that His love for you grows daily.

I pray that my future husband will be the spiritual leader of our family. That he will guide us, lead us, and protect us. That he will take on that role with passion and love and be the man that you have called him to be.

I pray that my future husband will love me. Love me passionately, deeply, and intensely. He will respect and accept me and my family. I will be his first human priority through life.

I pray that my future husband will have a heart, not just our children, but all children. That he will have a big heart, compassionate and caring.

I pray that my future husband is making wise decisions. That he is one his knees praying for Your guidance with his decisions.

I pray that my future husband is physically, mentally, emotionally healthy. I pray that any anxiety or worry he may have that he lifts it all to You. I pray that you are keeping him safe and healthy for our marriage and life together.

I pray that my future husband is prospering at work. I pray that he is passionate, driven, and hardworking but more importantly I pray that he is a man of integrity and character. That people see him as a man of faith and encouragement.

I pray that my future husband can resist sexual temptation. Lord, take him away from anything or anyone that might make him fall. Help him to stay pure for You and me.

I pray that I will be a wife who shows grace, kindness and respect.

Lastly, I pray that the Lord will bless our marriage, and expand our territory as a couple, that we will do great things as a couple and are an example of a godly marriage to many! This one always gets me excited. I love the thought of going on adventures and doing great things for Christ with my future husband. When I say adventures I dont mean vacations (however, I am hoping for many of those too!) but adventures that expand our territory and give us opportunities to do great things for Him, to serve and give back as a couple.

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I don’t know who he is or when he will come but there is something humbling and intimate about praying for my future husband. I can’t help but be hopefully and excited knowing God will provide a godly husband for me when the timing is right.

Until then, it is also important to pray that I stay joyful and content, constantly growing in Him and who I am, during this season of my life.

The sole purpose of marriage is to honor God. I have learned that His timing is perfect and I know that when He feels that I will better worship Him with another man, that is when He will bring him in my life.

Learning to Trust

Trust him enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them. Relax, and refresh yourself in the Light of His everlasting love.

(from Jesus Calling 10/10/12)

All too often I find myself "projecting" myself into the future. I think, I long, I desire for the future. I find myself rehearsing what I will say, what I will do in certain situations. For example, if you follow me on Pinterest you will see that I have my ~~whole~~ future wedding planned out. I know what dress I want, what flowers I will have in my bouquet, all the way down to what vows I want to say. So when I say I rehearse the future, I literally rehearse the future! And I know that thinking about my wedding is not a sin. What girl doesnt think abut their wedding!? However, when I start to think that I can control my future, or when I start to think that I can be self-sufficient in my future is when my thoughts become dangerous and I stray from the truth. "This is a subtle sin- so common that is usually slips by unnoticed." And in my case, all too often.

I find myself longing for those future plans, living in the future and not being fully present. Not trusting where I am NOW. Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus."

Therefore, today I will commit to live fully in the present, depending on God in each moment, rejoicing in His abundant supply in my life. I will strive to train my mind to seek His help continually, even when I feel competent to handle something by myself. I will learn to rely on Him in ~~some~~ EVERY situation.

This discipline will enable me to enjoy life more and to face each day confidently.

³Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
⁴Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

⁵Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
⁶He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.

Psalm 37:3-6

These are pictures I took yesterday during my evening walk to Starbucks. I sure am blessed to live in such beauitful city.I hope I never take for granted the amazing beauty of these sunsets.

Fall Family Festivities

Dear God,

Thank you for this beautiful life and forgive me if I dont love it enough.

Pumpkin patch kisses! Oh Jace, there will be many, many more!

The love of a family is one of life's greatest blessings.

Gratitude turns what we have into enough.

JOY- My Life Lately in Pictures

"...This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10

JOY- A feeling I have been experiencing a lot lately. Here are some photos of the blessings I have been THANKFUL for these past couple weeks (and yes, even thankful for the ~~major~~ pity party I threw for myself last week).