Monday, September 29, 2014

Seek more Jesus, not answers

" In his heart a man plans is course, but the Lord determines his steps"
Proverbs 16:9

I want answers!
Why did I move to Arizona?
A constant question that replays in my mind
Every. Single. Day 

When I decided to move to Arizona there was no doubt in my mind God had a plan
I knew that I was moving closer to fulfilling my dreams and deepest longings
It has been two full months since I have lived here
To be honest, I thought I would have had a purpose by now
Like yesterday 

I thought the Lord would have already opened up big doors and answered all my questions
I thought I would already be sharing with my family and friends all the amazing dreams I have accomplished!
I thought for sure Arizona is the answer to ALL my prayers!

In reality, I think I am just scared to tell them "I don't know and I don't have a plan"

Since I got to Arizona all I have been doing is seeking out answers 
Why did God make me leave my comfort and move to Arizona?
Everywhere I went I found myself asking, 
 "Is this it?"
"Is that it" 
"Why haven't I met him?"
"Did we become friends for a reason?"
"Is that the charity?"

I even found myself even trying to manipulate situations
Maybe if I just drive by there
Maybe if I just check my email one more time
Maybe if I stay a little longer he will show up

I was either trying to manipulate or bargain with God
Newsflash: God isn't into the bargaining or manipulating business
And you know what happened? I became anxious and frustrated
I was seeking the answers I thought wanted instead of just seeking Jesus

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 
Jeremiah 29:11-13

You see, God knows that my plans are so small compared to His
He knows that if I tried (Lord knows I tried!) to make my plans succeed I would fail
Or worse, I would succeed, then become complacent
I would stop seeking Him and stop dreaming

I knew I needed a different approach to this whole Arizona thing
This past week has been a week of reflecting and seeking Him more
More time in the Word and less in the world 
More time trusting Him and less trusting myself 
More time drawing closer to Him and not the TV

And a funny thing happened, I felt a weight be lifted off
I felt my dreams reignited in my heart
I have realized the past two months that God just wants me to seek Him 
No bargains, no strings attached, no manipulation
Stop searching for answers and search more of Him
To use this time to draw closer, learn more, and grow in my Trust 

I will continue to open my heart and mind to the Lords plan
I will continue to enjoy my new friends and new life in Arizona
When I stop to really reflect the Lord has blessed me more than I deserve down here 

I thought Arizona was the answer to ALL my dreams and prayers
But now I know that Arizona is just one part of Lords big adventure for me

I have no doubt that what has been placed on my heart will come into fruition in time 
There is no urgency to dreams when the Lord is in control

I am about to do something new
It is beginning to happen even now
    Don’t you see it coming?
I am going to make a way for you to go through the desert
Isaiah 43:19 

1 comment:

  1. love love love!! Not only because I can SO relate but because I see how happy you are in seeking Him!!!


I would love to hear how you are enjoying your journey!