Friday, January 11, 2013

Grace Flows Down

 What I learned this week
I have been hearing small "whispers" of God's calling on my life lately
Long story short, it makes me so incredibly happy and at peace just thinking about it
So...God, if you know what I should be doing in life whats the delay!?
I want it to happpen NOW
I am expecting it to happen NOW
 I hear You and I feel You and I am excited so lets get going!

Oh no, no, no
God doesnt work that way
If God gave us everything when WE wanted
When we wanted it
Then we would not need to Trust Him or depend on Him as much
Therefore, this week my lack of trust and anxiety has been high
My faith has been low
Thinking that the circumstances in my life are bigger than God
I am too busy
I have too much going on
I have all these pressing events I need to get done
I stress out because I want everything to be perfect and go just as planned
I read a devotional from a woman this morning and she said EXACTLY how I am feeling:
There were just a lot of little things swarming my thoughts.
 Feelings of inadequacy stinging.
There are so many things I'm responsible for and never enough hours in the day
I do enough to keep things from sinking.
But I just wonder if I'm doing anything well.
I don't think I am ... doing anything well.
The more I focused on these thoughts, the more overpowered I became.
The more overpowered I became, the more withdrawn I felt
Holy cow, talk about hitting the nail on the head
Not a good feeling to be overpowered by these thoughts
However, our God is big, like REALLY big
He knows our exact struggles of this world
He loves
He cares
He takes away

Throughout this week, by Gods gracious love, grace and faithfulness, I have been able to shift from feeling overpowered to empowered, being reminded that just because I feel this way doesnt make it real
Just because I might feel I am not doing anything well, doesnt make it true
Just because I have weaknesses doesnt make me weak
Gods plan for my life far outweighs the circumctances of my day week
Yes, I have alot to manage
Yes, sometimes things get a little blurry
but that doesnt mean I need to stay in the "blurriness"
it just means I need to rise above the clouds and see all the many places where I can clearly see God (the light) in my life
If I keep running at this rapid pace
If I keep depending on my own strength
I am going to break!

So....what should I do?
(No, it is not writing out a priority list, though I do that quite often!)

Just BE STILL Jessie

In His presence
 Absorb His peace
He is more than enough
Let Him restore you

He is God
Dear Lord, only You can provide all I need to stay the course. Please replenish me with a new attitude as I try to see above my grey clouds today. Help me to refocus my attention to You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

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